How I Know I’m A Fairy

If you’ve ever wondered how I know I’m a fairy in another dimension, today is your lucky day!

Jacob wanted to have kids before I did.

“Take me on one more awesome trip before we become parents,” I said

And so we planned a once in a lifetime trip to Egypt. We were there for 10 glorious days. We signed up as “travel agents” through a travel MLM to get a sweet deal on a Nile River cruise. We were with a group of travel agents. And since travel is Egypt’s bread and butter, we got treated like royalty.

Another couple in our group was Doug and Gayle. They are fifty years our senior yet reminded us of ourselves on many levels. Gayle was a yoga instructor too! One night at dinner Gayle shared that she is a certified hypnotist and performs past-life regressions. Because of my reoccurring dreams as a child, I was intrigued. I was dying to know what my spirit was trying to share with me through my subconscious, so I asked Gayle to practice on me.

After doing some yoga, we found a block of time while cruising. I laid down on my bed and she sat in a chair by my side. She talked me through a short, guided relaxation.

“Now see yourself at the top of a long staircase. You’re walking down the staircase. When you get to the bottom you see a room with a door and a white table. You’re about to walk through the door, but before you do you see items laying on the table. These are items that will protect you as you go on your journey. Pick them up and put them on.”

The hallway of steps was all white. So was the room at the bottom of the steps and so was the table. It was all stark white except for the glittery gold cuffs sitting on the table. Next to the cuffs was a gold shield and a sword. My childhood hero, She-Ra, wore garb exactly like these and I smiled to myself. I put on the cuffs with reverent care and picked up the sword and shield. I walked towards the door, turned the door knob and walked through.

It was like Dorothy walking from black and white into the technicolor of Oz. My cuffs, sword and shield disappeared as I walked into the most beautiful forest I had ever seen. There were flowers and trees everywhere. I looked down and noticed my naked body. It felt familiar but looked different. I glanced around and noticed a pond.

The pond was still. I could see my reflection. Yes, I was indeed naked. My body was smooth, long and flawless. My hair was red, and it hung almost to my butt. My eyes were a bright sky-blue. I saw something shimmering behind me. I could almost see wings, but the iridescentness of them made me unsure what I was seeing.

I felt a familiar rub on my ankle. I looked down and saw a creature unlike my human eyes had ever seen. It looked like a cross between a racoon and fox. I knew instantly this was my animal-companion. “Roxy girl, is it you?” I find myself thinking as I reach down to lovingly pet the animal.

“Of course, it is,” she answered telepathically, leaning into my hand. (Roxy was my cat. I adopted her immediately after Jacob and I moved in together.) “Your teacher has been waiting for you. You’ve been gone for a while. She suspected you wouldn’t remember. Follow me. I’ll take you to her.”

She took off at lightning speed through the woods. Instinctively I followed. She was running faster than anything I had ever seen before and I was flying directly above her. We approached a tree-house palace. It was ginormous.

Roxy led me into a grand room that was mostly empty. I could see a beautiful Asain-looking woman sitting on a huge red pillow in the middle of the room. She was naked too. She was long and lean and was sitting in the lotus position with her hands in her lap. She had long black hair that hung over her shoulders and draped over her breasts, covering them fully. She had a colorless dazzling jewel the size of an eye at her eyebrow-center. As I approached, she gestured for me to sit on the pillow across from her.

Slowly and carefully I sat down. She closed her eyes and took a slow deep breath. When she opened her eyes, she smiled and said, “Welcome back. You’ve been doing marvelous. I’m so proud!” She opened her hands. She was holding a red ruby that looked like the jewel on her head. She leaned forward and pressed it deeply into the same position on me. I felt a small prick. She sat back, smiling at me admiring her work. I couldn’t help but sit taller with pride.

“I realize you’ve come to learn about some dreams Aubrey has been having, but I have a more important message to share with you.” I sat intently and focused on my breathing as she continued. “Jacob has been in human form many times. His teacher is of the stars and we are friends. His seed is meant to spring forth life that will help in the evolution of Earth. His teacher has been unable to find him a partner worthy of carrying his seed and reached out to me requesting my help. You, my dear, were sent to be his partner. Your children are destined for important work.

As my fairy-teacher shared her message with me, I spoke out loud revealing her message to Gayle. “Ask your teacher if she has any wisdom that will help Aubrey in this lifetime,” Gayle suggested.

Within my mind, I asked her the question.

“Aubrey has not been in human form many times and therefore her subconscious, in her minds-eye struggles with seeing her human beauty. She longs for her fairy form. Thus, Aubrey will always be unsatisfied with her human body until she can look deep into her own eyes and see the beauty of her soul, of you, my dear. As Aubrey focuses on the beauty of her soul, her physical form will start to reflect that. And because of her lack of familiarity with her human form, she often forgets how to do many common things that are second nature to humans – like breathing.”

“Thank your teacher for the wisdom she shared today. It’s time to come back into Aubrey now,” Gayle suggested.

I stared deeply into my teacher’s eyes. I brought my hands into a prayer position at my heart. No words were said, but I could feel the love and reverence between us. I bowed subtlety with my head and she mirrored my actions.

“Coming back to your breath and into your body, feel your belly rise and fall. Begin to wiggle your fingers and your toes bringing life back into your body,” Gayle’s voice summoned me back.

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Confidence in my own skin wasn’t my strong suit. It never was. I always had issues with my body. I matured early. I hated my curves. I jumped from one fad diet to the next. But just the idea of my subconscious simply not identifying with the human form was such a relief. YES, I grew up with asthma. I often forgot to breathe! All of a sudden, a lifetime of issues made sense. There really wasn’t anything wrong with me. This form was just unfamiliar. I just need to start practice loving myself.

I realized that up until that point, every time I looked in the mirror I would focus on my “flaws” – my hips, my thighs – and I would self-criticize. And so, one day, standing in front of the mirror I witnessed my unconscious tendencies.

“Not anymore!” I thought. I pulled out a tube of lipstick and wrote on my mirror, Aubrey, look in your eyes and see the beauty of your soul.

And THAT became my practice. I was managing a gym then. I was constantly surrounded by mirrors, so I had a lot of time to practice.

I’m not sure if my body changed or if my perspective did. Either way, it doesn’t matter – I started loving myself. As I focused on searching for that little twinkle, that light in my eyes, I wasn’t looking at my “flaws.” I wasn’t criticizing myself daily. All I focused on was the light in my eyes and I was memorized by the beauty of my depth, the beauty of my love, the beauty of my soul and spirt.

And then I started looking for the light in others. Every time someone would walk into the gym, I would intentionally search to find that little twinkly in their eyes.

***********Fast Forward**************

I never believed in the 7-year itch, until it happened to us. Jacob got a higher-paying gig that included travel just as I got pregnant with our oldest son. He traveled for the first 4 years we had kids. During most weeks I was a single parent with 2 babies under the age of 4. I was exhausted and lonely. I lost all my baby-weight quickly and was getting a more male attention at the gym than I was used to, and because of my loneliness I was considering having an affair.

I mean, seriously.

It consumed my thoughts.

Then one night after putting my kids to bed, as I was doing laundry I could feel the question ruminate my thoughts. What should I do? Should I leave? Will the grass really be greener on the other side?

And then I heard a voice from deep within myself that literally brought me to my knees. In the middle of my laundry room, I fell to the floor in a puddle of tears.

After losing your faith and walking away from the church, you’ve struggled with faith. Well NOW is your time to practice! I told you years ago that you and Jacob are destined to be together, that you were sent to this lifetime to be his partner. Remember that. Hold onto it. Have faith in that. In you. In him. In your destiny!

And in that moment, I had a flash of my past-life regression, of my conversation with my teacher, with my fairy guide…and my tears stopped. I immediately stood up, took a deep breath and finished my laundry.

Within the next few weeks I asked Jacob to stop traveling, sharing how lonely I was and how I couldn’t go on living apart. He found a local job and we healed our relationship.

*************************

It’s funny how the right people come into your life at the right time. We had to go half way around the world to meet a woman who would forever shape the trajectory of our lives. She wasn’t a guru. She simply guided me into my own soul, getting me in touch with my own wisdom, with my inner guru…who just happens to be a fairy from another dimension.

It was this moment in time…this wisdom from within…that has guided me and shaped my world.

In yogic philosophy, everyone has a dharma, a life’s purpose. I know why I was born. I’m a fairy sent from another dimension, here to spread fairy dust on Earth. Earth’s fairy dust is kindness, joy and compassion. And through union with my partner sent from the stars, we are raising humans, fellow star seeds, that will play their own individual roles in helping shift the collective unconscious towards love and consciousness, revealing heaven on Earth.

Maybe it was all my imagination, but I don’t care. Embodying and believing in my fairy-self has given me faith and strength when I was my most desperate and kept me from doing things that would have torn my world apart.

Spreading fairy dust seems like an honorable enough effort to me…so I’ll continue doing what I do best…

Until next time, sending you peace, love and fairy dust!