When I was young I had a recurring dream. I had it on a regular basis until I moved out of my parents’ house. Then when I was in college, one night randomly, the story line continued. It seemed as if my dreams were communicating to me – explaining what was going on in my life on an energetic level.
I wrote regularly when our boys were young, feeling these stories needed to be heard. However, after becoming a Beachbody Coach and knowing how much our family could use the extra income, I put my writing to the side knowing it would always be there, to grow my business.
Little did I know…the need to get the story out of my heart and onto the page would become an ache.
So here I am. It’s time to share what’s been bubbling up in my soul for over 30 years….
The Childhood Dream
Rita Harrison had an in-home day care. My brother Crosby and I spent a lot of time there when we were little. It was an old farm house. The hard wood floors squeaked when you walked across. Rita had 3 children. Matthew was my age. Carson was the baby. We rarely ever saw Wendy. She was a teenager. The Harrison’s had fixed up the attack into bedroom for her and it was strictly off-limits. I don’t know why, but I always wondered what was up there. I yearned to know how “big girls” lived.
It was nap-time. All the kids were in the living room on our nap mats with our blankets. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t see Rita anywhere.
“This is it. This is my chance,” I thought.
I crawled towards the steps doing my best not to make a sound. I opened the large, heavy door that led to the closed-off stair case. I slid in and closed the door without being noticed. I physically crawled on my hands and knees up the stairs. The brown, wooden steps were rough under my hands and knees due to the chipping paint and years of neglect. There were walls on either side of me. It was dark. My focus kept shifting from between my hands to ensure I didn’t miss-step and the door at the top of the stair-case.
As I climbed up the long dark pathway, the steps seemed to be growing. Each took more effort to climb. Clouds started to appear on either side of me like a fog blowing in, covering the ground. Thoughts of Wendy faded as something else seemed to draw me up the steps. As I got higher the clouds got thicker. Suddenly, I noticed the steps below me were no longer wooden, they were golden. Sparkling. I could almost see my reflection in them. Clouds covered me on all sides.
And then I saw it – a huge cloud at the top of the stair case with a magnificent marble building perched on top. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. It had large columns and it was grand. I squinted and bowed my head as an all-encompassing light emerged from the building. It was bright, my eyes couldn’t handle it. I tried to look up. It felt warm and welcoming. I had a feeling it was my father, but my Dad wasn’t this grand. I kept trying to get a look at him, but my eyes couldn’t handle his majesty. I had to be content with just feeling his energy. I pause, frozen in reverence. But I couldn’t shake the question, “Why does it, he feel so familiar?”
I didn’t hear any words, but I felt a deep, resonate hum. I felt a warmth. I felt loved. On my hands and knees, I bowed my forehead to the floor. My body and soul somehow recognized this as a sacred ceremony, an induction of some sort. Warmth, love, humility and pride radiated through my being simultaneously.
I had this dream regularly throughout my childhood.
While in college I was in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. It was my first summer to stay in Texas. I had a small apartment near campus with my best friend. My boyfriend and abuser stayed with me most of the time.
And then one night the story line continued…………
I was summoned. No one told me, but I knew. It had been years since my induction ceremony and now I was being called to my initiation. It was time to bring forth the gifts I had been endowed with.
I was up in clouds again. I looked like myself, but I had angle wings. I had a bow and arrow in hand and I was surrounded by those like me, my peers, my team, though I knew none of them I could feel we were the same. There was in a great battle in the heavens. Arrows were flying all around me and I was doing my best to dodge all that came in my direction. I was aiming and shooting at an unseen target, an unseen enemy, a darkness, and I was a protector of the light.
And within all the chaos, I was struck. An arrow hit me in the mouth. It literally went into my mouth and out of my cheek. I was injured in battle and sent home.
I was in my college apartment living room. My roommate and my boyfriend walked in the front door.
“I need your help. I need to get to the hospital. I need to have this thing removed,” as I motioned to the arrow lodged in my face.
“Really? We were about to go to the movies. Want to join us?” my roommate asked.
I looked at my boyfriend. “Want to go?” he asked.
“Are you kidding me? Did you hear me? I need your help.”
They turn around and walk back out the front door.
I woke up in my bed, sat up remembering the dream. I touched my face where the arrow had been lodged and I felt a scar. I was now watching as a third party, seeing myself from above.
“Was it a dream or did that really happen?” I wondered within the dream.
I woke up for real, shaken, wondering what it all meant. Why wouldn’t the people closest to me abandon me like that when I was hurting? And as I moved about my day, I remembered my childhood recurring dream and could feel their connection.
I was in a dark hole when I finally left that relationship. I found a new group of friends and started partying hard. A new friend introduced me to the ideas of energy, auras and chakras. My consciousness was expanding, and I was being introduced to new ideas and philosophies.
All the while, the storyline continued in my dreams.
Although I flew in my dreams regularly, it was different now. While I slept my dreams reflected my real life, but within this landscape my expierence in the heavens was real. I was aware of my “powers” and gift of flight. However, I started to realize that my ability to fly was determined by those around me. If anyone was around that couldn’t be trusted, I couldn’t fly. My powers would disappear. I would lift my arms to the sky, jump and nothing.
Some dreams were insightful, some were terrifying. Whatever I was fighting against in the heavens was also here. And it was always chasing me. It was dark and faceless. And I was always alone.
As I discovered yoga, Reiki and other healing arts, the storyline continued. However, it stopped after having Kaleif, my second son.
I was at a party with my family. None of our friends knew about my powers. But then I sensed it. That dark energy. It wasn’t here yet, but it was on its way and it was looking for me. And then I knew – it’s after the baby!
I grabbed the hands of my husband and my 2-year-old son. “We’re leaving, now!” I said, and we took off. I flew until we found a place to hide.
“What’s wrong, mama?” Nyjah asked.
“It’s the Darkness. It wants your brother.”
“I’m not exactly sure, but I sense It doesn’t want him to survive, so we need to hide.” I cover my belly and nuzzle between them.”
I had been a yoga teacher for nearly a decade. Shanti, my newest and closest friend was a yoga teacher too. She was born into a family of meditators and lived on a yoga commune in her childhood. She wasn’t just a yoga teacher, she was my first real yogi friend. She was getting married and I threw the bachelorette party/bridal shower.
“What do you want to do?” I asked her in preparation for her party.
“I want lots of singing and dancing!” she replied without hesitation. (One of the reasons why I love her so much!)
We hadn’t been friends long and I didn’t know many other women in her life, so I asked her for a guest list.
As we danced to the music I crafted for her party, I was in awe by those with us – Monica Blossom, the woman who introduced me to Ecstatic Dance and a community builder in Dallas; Liz Tucker, a tribal leader in the Dallas and Austin dance communities; Kristen Brooks, from the Bhakti House Band, a group who’s music feeds my soul; Brynn Byrne, a teacher at the School of Metaphysics, yogini and studio owner; Shanti Webb (Nolen), the woman we were celebrating, a musician who stirred my heart and my dearest friend. THESE women. THIS moment. The room was filled with angels.
When I got home I sent a text to Jenny, Shanti’s long-time friend. “I feel like I was inducted today into a secret society of angels.”
Jenny replied, “Welcome to the club.”
And in that moment, I knew. I knew I wasn’t alone anymore. I was no longer afraid of the Darkness. I had found my army of angles here on Earth. We were a team. A posse. A sisterhood. And in our own individual ways we protect and spread the light. And every time when we come together our magic gets stronger.
Since then I’ve learned about Star Seeds, souls incarnated onto this planet for this mission, to spread the light. Once born and once the Star Seed recognizes this calling and reason for living, one can become a conscious “Light Worker.” Light Workers use their natural gifts and talents to literally help spread the light and awaken the evolving consciousness of our planet.
So, if you’ve ever felt like you were born into a world that you don’t fit in, consider that you were born to help build a new one! You’re not alone. There are many angels walking this planet sharing and spreading light. So keep doing your thing. Like attracts like. Be open to this reality being better than we ever dreamed. Heaven on Earth is a possibility in our lifetime, but we must all do our part. The world is ready to wake up, but it needs you, it needs me, it needs US to choose to BE the light. Choosing peace, compassion, truth, love and joy in the here and now isn’t always easy, but who says making a difference would be easy?
But isn’t it nice to know you’re not alone? Find your tribe. Love them hard. Be the change you wish to see in the world. And when life gets you down and you forget who you really are, call on an angel. She is closer than you think and she finds JOY in sharing her light with you!
Until next time………
Peace, Love and Fairy Dust ❤